THE OLD GUARD

Searching for Slava’s debut post was titled ‘The Intangibles Exposed’. I tried making the point that Derek Fisher wasn’t all that enigmatic, but more of a meat and potatoes guard who wasn’t afraid to do the dirty work. The writing wouldn’t have won any awards but for some reason, it was my top traffic post for several months. You hope to build readership along the way and the Fisher post eventually began to drop. It took about a year to fall out of the top ten, or more accurately, for other pieces to rise past it.

I’m glad I got to watch his career. I remember his rookie year, remember how he began picking up minutes when Phil Jackson arrived (the first time). He rotated in and out with guys who are no longer in the league. More recently, his declining skills were much discussed but people forget that he was always streaky – I recall some abysmal stretches in the early years. Still, he always felt he could shoot his way out and made some choice buzzer-beaters along the way. You can get a championship ring by sitting on the bench. You can luck into a couple of them though contractual quirks. You don’t get five unless you have just cause to get five.

Derek Fisher left after the ‘04 Finals - the year of the Big Exodus. He went to Golden State and then to Utah. After the 2007 playoffs Fisher asked out of his contract and returned to Los Angeles where he felt his daughter’s retinoblastoma recovery would best be served. He left $20 million on the table. He rejoined a team in turmoil - Kobe Bryant had recently asked for a trade. Derek became a co-captain and starting point guard once again (aka life after Smush). He was seen as a calming influence on Bryant. Pau Gasol arrived halfway through the season, and that of course was the real turning point in the team’ fortunes.

Derek Fisher never missed a game after returning to the Lakers. He suited up 447 times including the playoffs, and he started 447 times. Would it have been hard to come off the bench to relieve Ramon Sessions? No doubt. Is it hard to give up hundreds of millions of dollars in a new CBA in order to preserve the game? I would think so. Fisher understands compromise and sacrifice.

Phil Jackson set the table for his last stand and the team let him down – their collapse against Dallas was as ugly as it gets. Jackson left as he said he would and it was abundantly clear that the team needed new leadership and new pieces. What followed has been one of the lesser chapters in a storied Lakers history. Heir apparent Brian Shaw was given a courtesy interview and hung out to dry as management brought in new candidates. Mike Brown was hired. Most of the remaining staff was fired and the bloodletting coincided with the start of the NBA lockout, a seamless transition during a seamy time.

As president of the players association, Derek Fisher found himself negotiating with what we called hardliners, characters who stalled and snickered and folded their arms. And workers lost their jobs and players went overseas and if you don’t think the season came close to being lost, you weren’t paying attention. The Buss family stood to lose more than most. Three months later they decided to save what they would have had to pay Derek next season - $3.4 million. Then again, Jordan Hill makes $2.86 million so I guess the savings are actually more like $540 thousand? This apparently, is what’s being called 'basketball reasons' these days. Thank you for your service.

Mitch Kupchak held a presser, explained that he hasn’t actually spoken to Derek but he will. At some point. He said it’s hard, but you have to separate the emotion in order to keep moving forward. I’m a bit unclear about this forward motion stuff. Anybody remember Magic Johnson calling Jim Buss out on TV a couple weeks ago? He said it was the most disappointed he's been in the organization in 35 years. Fish was the guy who called the players meeting, said they all had to come together. And they did.

Derek Fisher has the highest three-point field goal percentage in NBA Finals history. He ranks second in Finals three-pointers made and he’s played in 209 playoff games - fourth highest in NBA history. I don’t know if they keep records for taking charges but I always enjoyed seeing him on the floor with that stunned expression – who me? I won’t get to see him lay Luis Scola out again, unless I’m a fly on the wall at Rockets practice. That’s assuming they don’t just buy him out. With that massive salary of his and all. So long Fish – one of my favorites. Always.

RETURN OF THE WITCH

I was deep into a couple of epic rambles when losses killed my flow - sometimes the whimsy just don’t fit.  It’s beginning to feel like an endless tape loop - pressers, posts and Slava-centric journals present rational explanations, all mentioning the same old switches and the regular season versus playoffs.  Except, that a pattern of something less than excellence develops and that’s not what you want from a championship team, not matter how you try and spin it.

The loss to Sacramento was a classic Lakers head-scratcher, our onetime cow-town rivals were 10 & 33 coming into the game and thoroughly dominated in the paint - rookie center DeMarcus Cousins and backup power forward Sam Dalembert combined for 45 points - Bynum, Pau and Odom had only 25. The loss to Boston felt worse. I’ve never much liked Sunday afternoon games for the Lakers, they’re often too entrenched in patio brunch mode.  Still, they had a chance in the 4^th (due primarily to Kobe’s 41 points) and ran into an invisible wall when it came time to step up.  Archon on an FB&G thread mentioned that Pau seems to have aged 6-7 years lately in some inexplicable Quantum Leap.  Seems logical to me.

Coach Jackson describes repetitive actions in "The Last Season"; the necessity of going through a physical routine seven times before it ingrains into muscle memory, the fact that most players need a couple years to grasp the triangle’s complexities. This year’s starting lineup has an aggregate of 28 years in the system. With losses stacking up are we really concerned about the X’s & O’s or is it as simple as a lack of purpose and effort?

Sometimes you just have to look at what’s most obvious and tangible.  The team’s playing like crap, they’re pod people, replicants, something you hide in a closet for a rainy day and foist on an unsuspecting public. Haha, very funny; I want my team back now?  Phil doesn’t seem overly concerned and neither do key members of the squad - Derek Fisher says he isn’t "getting bunkered on ups and downs" and Odom’s preaching calm and patience.  Somebody’s concerned though, Mitch Kupchak doesn’t like the way the team’s playing and says he'll consider a trade if things don’t improve.

Houston comes to visit tonight. Phil joked about suicide, gallows humor for his avowed last season. Thursday brings the Spurs, in the midst of their annual rodeo road trip and I doubt there will opportunity for much levity. I don’t like writing about malaise and witchy seasons, I want to revel in a glorious 3-peat as much as anyone. So far however, it comes in tantalizing bits and pieces and I’m left with a gnawing, disquieting hunger as yet another winter storm front blows through the nation.  I wouldn’t complain if the team were to discover its soul right about now.

I MACHINE, NO MORE

Cyber challenges arose Tuesday night, depriving me of the ability to launch an epic treatise on the Sasha/Joe Johnson extravaganza. In fact, I didn’t even know about Johnson initially, the talking heads at ESPN apparently not finding it tangential to the trifecta. A friend filled in the gaps via text. By the time I was able to log on, some 24 hours later, the trade had fallen off the Yahoo front page. If it was ever there to begin with. Not exactly Melo material I guess.

I wasn’t wild about the deal Tuesday and haven’t changed my opinion since. So what if the Machine was an expiring contract in a luxury cap nightmare? He played psycho-ferret defense and could nail a three at the beginning of the clock, despite being the fifth option on the play. Lasting memory: Sasha going to the charity stripe, grimacing and holding his neck after being clothes-lined.... then, fastidiously grooming his eyebrows with moistened fingertips before calmly sinking his free throws. Oh kid.

This trade would engender more sobriety if we’d gotten back someone who might actually play more minutes than Sasha. Don’t get me wrong, I used to really like Joe Johnson. Around 30 years ago, back when that whole T-Wolves tampering thing went down. I may be in the minority here, there’s some that think he could provide useful vet minutes. Yeah, like the Jim Jackson acquisition a few years back.

I’ll miss Sasha. He once had a bright and shiny future, earned himself a nice contract and became just a little too high on himself. The following season was abysmal and the next one not much better. There wasn’t much room for him in the current rotation but he remained a legitimate long-range threat and certainly knew the system. I read that he’s hoping to double his production with the Nets. Three points per game is definitely doable.

I hope Theo returns soon. Maybe we’ll get to see a Ratliff/Johnson combo, advancing up the court with those four-legged walkers with tennis balls on the bottom.  Slide forward, dribble. Slide forward, dribble. Pause to catch breath. As for the Slovenian Rico Suave, may the wind be at your back and best of luck convincing Farmar to pass you the ball in New Jersey.  He never did in L.A..

I, MACHINE

From the desk of our anonymous source who doesn’t like to be quoted:

We caught up with the gregarious Sasha Vujacic recently at a Venice boardwalk café. He was accompanied by long-legged superstar girlfriend Maria. The first thing we noticed was how utterly massive he’s become over the summer, attributed to nonstop power lifting and nutritional supplements. Over soy lattes and scones, Sasha expressed an ardent desire to switch playing positions to power forward for the upcoming season.

Continuing the surprising conversation, Sasha revealed that he’s always wanted to man the paint but was suppressed by European coaches who pigeonholed him from an early age, a trend that continued after being drafted by the NBA. When reminded of his oft-expressed desire to run the point, the Slovenian replied that he was only following orders and had also been bothered by trade rumors lately, along with internet ridicule. He says he’s now eager to get his freak on against Kevin Garnett, Kenyon Martin and other front court enforcers.

Sasha knows he’s a bit short for the position but says his recent workout regime makes him feel very, very powerful. As he described his new physique and willingness to rumble, the willowy Maria pressed against him with murmured grunts and shrieks (much quieter than her on-court banshee battle-cries but still signature Sharapova).

One other noticeable change, Sasha’s now sporting a fuller, more luxurious uni brow. He admits that he no longer tweezes, adding that it makes him feel more like Sampson. Before parting ways, we asked if fans will still be treated to his outside shooting prowess. Sasha said no, his increased bicep size hinders that ability. He didn’t seem particularly bothered however, noting that "anybody can score in the NBA but nobody likes to do the dirty work anymore".

We look forward to seeing our rebuilt machine in action, come this Fall!