MY CYBER DINNER WITH EMILE

I find myself increasingly spending time communicating with people I’ll probably never see face to face. It’s this ongoing amalgamation of writing online articles, sometimes collaborating, often seeking approval in some fashion, and usually tweeting about it and many random things with no beginning and no end. I can’t sit down to dinner with online friends. Actually I can sit down to dinner with online friends, with more than a nod to Andre Gregory and Wallace Shawn.

My first sit down was with Emile Avanessian, a New York City resident, one man band for Hardwood Hype, and fellow contributor for Forum Blue and Gold. And a friend, regardless of location. We each had food and various electronic devices and watched Game 6 of the Western Conference Finals between the Oklahoma City Thunder, and the San Antonio Spurs – it was an epic game, and a fitting framework for dinner conversation.

Dave – What do you have on your plate, Emile?

Emile – Roasted chicken breast with goat cheese, olives and cherry tomatoes, with roasted potatoes on the side. And what are you having this fine evening?

Dave – Thank you for asking, I’m having small pieces of marinated chicken with mushrooms, red bell pepper, onion and angel hair pasta. I prepared it in a small skillet which is perched on the corner of my desk. And Pepsi. I was going to have wine. But I’m not.

Emile – So whaddya think about tonight’s game?

Dave – I think the Spurs have a legitimate shot. I think they’re due. But OKC has that thing that’s like instant healing. They can come back so fast it’s scary. The Spurs kind of have to stop and catch their breath.

Emile – Yeah, youth and spring are deadly. I am 55-45 thinking OKC closes it out. That said, I’m irrationally excited to watch the Spurs have to play a game for their season. They are so great normally, how about these stakes?

Dave – It’s the issue of generational change around the league. It seems as if there’s always newer, younger, more athletic teams coming up through the ranks and influencing the direction of the game itself. Yet, as we get into the late stages of the playoffs, there is an almost an inevitable shift back to the veteran teams. OKC is the exception this year – the one “young” team out there. By the way, did you ever stop to think that David Stern’s league model may very well be a self-perpetuating unconscious form of brainwashing created by a world totalitarian form of government based on money? Haha, I’m paraphrasing My Dinner With Andre.

Emile – Haha, interesting thought on Stern & Co. I think this goes back to a conversation we had a few months back. The comparison was the NBA as a corrupt (but not too corrupt to deal with) oligarchy. Ironically, the new ownership groups entering the NBA (Wall Street/PE types) will run the show until NBA franchises are no longer considered a quality investment.

Dave - Another thing is the draft. Lakers have the 60th pick. I think Jimbo’s going to go hard after something better. It’s one of the real problems we face, dealing away picks and this is what we’re left with. Plus, Jim and Chaz and the younger brother scouts are so convinced that the draft is the way to go and that they have some form of expertise about such matters now. So what are they going to do? Just sit back and watch everybody else party? I don’t think so. Doesn’t mean they’ll get a good pick but I think they’ll try.

Emile - After all these years of “win now” mode, drafting away first rounders (admittedly low-to-mid first rounders, but first rounders nonetheless) in attempt after attempt to address specific shortcomings with turnkey solutions, it’s time to settle up. On the bright side we have two titles and three conference titles to show for the past five years, but we’re left with a roster that is aging, overpaid and inflexible, cap/trade-wise. Thus, I am all for making a bold move in the interest of beginning to lay a foundation for tomorrow.

No sure if we’ve ever discussed this but I am decidedly pro-trading Bynum, though I’d not do it for a draft pick. For ‘Drew, I want front line talent. Pau on the other hand, we can talk. Like I said in the 3-on-3 we did for FBG last week, I love the guy and would rather not trade him, but given the lack of options, I think he could be flipped for a top-10 pick and cheaper (but still overpaid) NBAer. As for Jimmy & Friends running a draft vital to the franchise’s future. I am unsure what to think. I’ve not been terribly kind to Short Buss since he took over, but he is in fact responsible for drafting Bynum and has not really had any other high picks with which to work. At the end of the day, I’m in favor of a full-scale blow up, in which the Lakers trade the two bigs for a combo of existing talent and a high pick, moving forward with that and plus Kobe’s final seasons, as the foundation.

Where do you stand on this? Are you in the Bynum-as-future camp, or do you see him as a valuable asset to be monetized? And Buss? Do you more trust him to run a draft, or to assess, value and acquire talent from around the league?

Dave – I agree about Pau, I think he's gone. And Andrew, for an elite talent? Sure. As for Buss, I probably trust him more with the draft than other basketball decisions.. I don’t put quite as much stock in his championing of Bynum because I think Ronnie Lester did the really heavy lifting there and Jim jumped on for the ride, and eventually showed Ronnie the door. I do however, think he’s spent a lot of time doing his homework and seems to like talking about it. Plus, he’s shown himself to be a cost-cutter in some obvious ways and I think that dovetails with a draft philosophy. His dad is the guy who had a keen eye for existing talent around the league. And Mitch of course.

As we were having this conversation, the Spurs had jumped out to a huge first quarter lead, extending it in the beginning of the second quarter before the Thunder began getting traction. The Spurs still went into the half, up by 15.

Dave – I went into my cupboard at halftime and realized I forgot to have the artisan filone asiago cheese bread that I purchased at my local Randall’s flagship market earlier today. And I really like having bread with my chicken and pasta. I’m a little annoyed but I’ll solider on. David Stern’s obviously a lighting rod for criticism and I’ve been on him plenty, all throughout the lockout, through various fictional tales, and then for obvious reasons after the botched CP3 affair. What’s your honest opinion on Stern’s stewardship of the league in general, a big picture view of what he’s done in the past, and where he is now?

Emile - Stern? Yeesh. Where to go with that? I don’t think there is any doubt that his leadership has been a net positive. He benefited from great timing, but he’s globalized the league, TV revenues are massive, the players are even better compensated, they’ve embraced digital/social media better than any league. That said, I think Stern is past his prime and drunk with power. It’s understandable when you think about it – he knows he’s nearing the end of the road and wants to assert his dominance until that day comes. Also, the world in which he now works is drastically different from the one in which he got his start. Players are fabulously wealthy and demanding a greater say in the way the league conducts its business. He’s become preoccupied with constantly reminding the world “who’s boss” and has begun inserting himself rather sloppily, into matters in which he probably has no place.

Dave – Tell me a little about the new ownership groups. Your comment from earlier about “running the show until NBA franchises are no longer considered a quality investment” is interesting. How far off do you think that is? Do you think there’s ever a chance of antitrust concepts being loosened in the NBA, much like they have in other business sectors? And has the New Orleans league-controlled ownership aspect already breached the antitrust concept?

Emile – I am not well versed in the legal aspects of sports ownership, but I’m talking about the guys who made megabucks from hedge funds/private equity/etc., and are now paying $300 - $400M+ for franchises. These guys are rarely the pillars of the community that bought teams back in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s, for $10 - $20 million. They are buying because NBA teams have historically been inefficient businesses, and by stepping in, totally revamping the infrastructure (much tighter payroll constraints, fewer jobs for former players; reworking arena leases) and improving cash flows. It is not bad per se, because these guys mostly recognize that in a suboptimal market, winning sells and all else withers. But they will run these teams as businesses more than as civic institutions.

With the exception of the CP3 debacle, I didn’t have a huge problem with the league’s ownership of the Hornets, as Shinn was a fucking disaster. And yes, it took a while to sell the team, but in the interest of keeping the team in NOLA (the stated goal) they waited and somehow got a top-dollar bid from Tom Benson.

Dave – I mostly agree about Stern. He did enormous good for the sport, and yes, the world is changing. But I keep thinking back to the lockout, and how that was handled. It was a labor negotiation, as elemental as it gets in many ways. We got so close to a lost season, and so much money was lost in ancillary ways. I could never quite understand why Stern seemed to shift away from his closest allies, the major market players. But ultimately, it really does go to your point – the new ownership groups, the cost-cutters. It’s the same mindset that has taken over so many business sectors. Cut costs, cut benefits, instill fear and make the other side cave. Except the players were finally pushed too far, and filed in federal court. And the cost-cutters had to take another look at it.

And then there’s the case of DerekFisher, still president of the players union, still in the game, still making a difference. And, with a fairly good chance to get his sixth ring. It’ll be a huge part of the narrative and for good reason. I’ve never quite gotten past the manner in which he was kicked to the curb. And here he is, still standing while the Lakers are trying to figure out how to get past getting bounced in the second round, two years running. It’s more than a little ironic that Fish is headed to the Finals and we’re talking about trade possibilities for Andrew and Pau.

By evening’s end, the Spurs had lost a heart breaker. The Thunder roared through the third quarter and were down by a single point going into the final frame. They succeeded in the end, paving the way for a trip to the Finals and possibly, a new dynasty.

Dave – I was sad to see the Spurs go down but at least they went down fighting. There’s that saying that youth won’t be denied – we’ll get to find out for sure in the Finals. I’m trying to wrap my head around who’s more competitive coming out of the east. A meeting between OKC and Miami has been a fairly popular assumption for a while. Not so much the case now, with the Heat facing elimination at TD Garden – that’s a tough place for an away team to win. And what kind of conversation would that engender this summer? The Celtics don’t have to sweat it, they’re not on the wrong end of the expectations game. I wouldn’t at all mind seeing Boston and Oklahoma – that’s as classic a case of generations colliding as you’ll get.

Emile - For reasons I can’t explain, I am finding OKC’s presence in the Finals a bit weird. Maybe it’s the jerseys and the logo and the name no one grew up with. Maybe it’s Derek Fisher’s presence. Maybe it’s just the stark reality of the balance of power shifting out West, and how suddenly that shift occurred. Maybe I’m just bummed that my full scale man crush on Gregg Popovich has screeched to a premature halt.

Because in terms of talent and continuity, OKC doesn’t lack for a whole lot. In fact, not only are these guys supremely gifted and immensely likable, they are punctual as well. This is when the Finals expected them. They’ve grown up, matured and learned to navigate the postseason together, made progress each year. Tough postseason losses, but not a single disappointing howler. It’s been textbook.

The Thunder are by no means perfect, but their strengths are just so pronounced and their stars so uniquely skilled that it’s inconceivable that any defense – even one as stingy as Boston’s – would be able to consistently shut them down for extended stretches. We’re going to watch the final two eastern conference teams duke it out for the privilege of joining KD, Russ and friends. If the Celtics are able to beat the Heat, we’ll be in it for the generational collision you alluded to. If Miami can pull out a pair against the C’s, the internet may well collapse under the weight of narratives of its own creation. Either way, regardless of the outcome of the Finals, I hope the simple “young greatness realized” storyline – one of this season’s coolest – gets the play it deserves.

Again, thanks a lot for putting this together. I had an absolute blast just sitting around Bsing about ball. Any time you want to do it again.

Dave – Thanks Emile, I wonder what Louis Malle would have made of the new digital age? Ultimately, this didn’t so much come down to the interactive possibilities of electronics, but simple, extended conversation. Over dinner, albeit it Austin to New York City. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Until next time.

DAY OF THE LOCUST

The post holiday blues had nestled into the folds - it's that time of year again. The season drifted across three lanes before realignment peeked its bright face in – the Lakers notched their first win and in doing so, chased the gathering storm away. This was not a switch being thrown, simply a team adjusting to a system, finding their range, finding each other.

A prolonged work stoppage benefits nobody. It’s not a rest-cure, it did nothing to promote parity and with the full knowledge of missteps pulling like a wound, David Stern stepped deliberately and awkwardly over the line. He can bluster about being a caretaker for the New Orleans Hornets but his stewardship, along with equal partnership from the 29 other teams, should have been a step removed. Executives are in place for the Hornets - it is their job to run the ship, regardless of ultimate ownership. The commissioner backhands your concerns like a mad mood child and stalks away.

We haven’t heard much about the hardliners lately. They’ve withdrawn into the shadows, as a season they didn’t want, begins to unspool. Dan Gilbert became the public face of a certain cadre and it was curious from step one because he’s such an utter failure as a team owner. The only one worse is Donald Sterling who at least knows which side his bread is buttered on – he stayed out of harm's way during the lockout and somehow wound up with Chris Paul. There is no lesson learned here, no parable, no rhyme or reason. It’s a strangeness that simply exists all on its own.

The love-hate relationship that much of the country has with the Lakers, mirrors the attitude toward Los Angeles itself. Top on the hit list is the catch-all "Hollyweird" description, easily one of the most unimaginative phrases ever coined. Fortunately, weather patterns and foliage discussions can often be used to charm hinterland creatures - mention blue skies and waving palm fronds and wait for the wistful "some day" sighs, followed invariably by "I've got a great idea for a TV series, it's kinda based on me."  Thanks for that, always.

That Jerry Buss and his family-run business are somehow synonymous with entitlement and rings on a silver platter, escapes me. An odd family, yes. But not nearly in the same financial stratosphere as most of the so-called hawks. Dan Gilbert’s worth scads more from selling retail loans and Paul Allen’s fortune is somewhere around $23 billion, depending on how much he’s spending on his super-yacht 'Octopus' in any given week. Allen was chief among those who wanted to either cancel the season or corral more of Jerry Buss’s earnings, to compensate for their own teams’ failure to launch.

Regardless of past Lakers precepts, this year’s model under Mike Brown’s direction is more lunch bucket than showtime, an amalgamation of aging stars, second-round draft picks and journeymen role players. Kobe Bryant had the ligaments in his right wrist torn during a preseason outing against the Clippers. The ligaments aren’t necessarily important, they only hold the bones in place. Taking this all into account, Bryant has decided that the proper course of action is to continually drive hard to the basket and offer his mangled arm up for retribution. And make no mistake, opposing players are drawing a bead. Nobody's better than Kobe, at Russian roulette basketball.

With three games in as many days, the Lakers have been a work in progress. They blew a late lead against the Bulls on Christmas, imploded against the Kings and demolished the Jazz on a night when their legs should have been dead. They face the Knicks tonight and get Andrew Bynum back from suspension in time for Saturday’s game against Denver (the first of a Nuggets back-to-back). It’s a brutal first stretch in a compressed season but it's welcome after a year gone wrong. The system restores, the cathode ray tube warms and blurs and the season embraces us, once again.

THEY'RE PROGRAMMED TO DESTROY US

Increasingly despondent in recent days, David Stern decided to blow up the league. Sources close to the commissioner are painting a grim picture of the once respected chief executive of the National Basketball Association. Future plans are on hold until he finishes gutting himself and anyone foolish enough to approach.

Recently taken to drinking creme de menthe and listening to Joy Division, the commissioner vetoed a three-way trade that would have brought Chris Paul to the Lakers, packed a depleted Hornets roster with legitimate starters, and bolstered a sagging Houston front line. Riding a wave of bewilderment, Stern did it again last night, this time blocking a proposal that was spoon-fed to his naive demand for younger players. The Lakers pulled out and sent Lamar Odom to the World Champion Mavericks who were in obvious need of charity. Pressed for comment, Mark Cuban reportedly shrugged and said, “rock star!”

Lamar Odom’s been much maligned for not showing up to a training camp that didn’t want him. He hasn’t been a happy camper and I honestly can’t blame him. Perhaps being on another championship roster will ease the sting. Ironically, it’s the same team that swept his beloved Lakers in the second round last season. As for Mr. Stern, associates report that he was last seen strapping himself to an atomic bomb and hurtling toward earth - leaving his stool at the Mt. Olympus Boom-Boom Room, bereft of soft fleshy warmth.

My father, an abstract painter, didn’t allow television in the house. He felt it distracted from the creative spirit or some such. My brother and I finally convinced him that Jacques Cousteau specials were required homework. Dad ponied up for a minuscule Zenith, accompanied by a 2 ½ hour limit per week. Program planning in of itself, was entertainment. All was fine until my brother’s best friend Teddy Augustine, picked up what he believed to be an unloaded Daisy B-B gun and put a neat little hole in the Zenith’s screen. It was hilarious until we realized that we were once again, without television.

Free agency has been ridiculously shortened and compressed. The only hope for marginally effective execution stood with the general managers and their staffs, the lockout was not of their making or desire. Their chances depended on some modicum of autonomy and cooperation from their owners and league - the same crowd that spent much of the year devouring itself from the inside. Poor Chris Paul, to have the misfortune of belonging to the one team owned by the league. He never had a prayer.

As I write this accounting, the Lakers will be pursuing their next course of action, realigning an uncertain front court. Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum were still here as of ten minutes ago but after that, the corp of bigs consists of Derrick Caracter, Ater Majok and Chris Daniels. Caracter has played some 200 minutes in his NBA career. Majok and Daniels only actually exist on paper. Sorry guys.

The ripple effect from David Stern’s actions will be profound. It’s easy as fans to speculate about the next-in-line trade but those in the team trenches understand a pileup on an icy freeway. There are only two weeks until opening day. The season that almost wasn’t, has already been hijacked by a man who cannot find the means to get past the players’ singular defining moment. Humiliated beyond acceptance, they sued their own league. It forced Stern and company to capitulate, and they can never get past it.

If you happened by a storefront window and peered in at the past six months, you would see a series of deliberately deconstructive actions. Whether it’s the desire to destroy the players’ union, to cancel the season in its entirety, or to simply tear at those who have the audacity to succeed, the actions don’t speak to a healthy infrastructure. It’s curious - the fans have been enthused, the players have been superb, the revenue has been robust - and this in a sagging economy. Don’t tell it to David Stern, he has waded through the landscape like a child stomping on sandcastles. And all that’s left is a nagging question - when does that insect Adam Silver get his turn?

THE FIFTY-SEVEN PERCENT SOLUTION

Searching for Slava has been serving up only the clearest of lockout analysis for months and there’s no reason to stop now. We’ve reached another of those yawing chasms that crop up weekly - each one accompanied by cyber-stained scribes abandoning their hard-bitten perspectives for a few hopeful moments, predicting that at long last, a deal seems imminent. And then comes reality and the screaming death spiral.

October 4th, the latest in a series of marathon negotiations culminates in an unofficial offer by the league of a 50/50 split on BRI (basketball related income) which is promptly rejected by the players. A week later, another bargaining session, capped by a new take it or leave it 50/50 offer and the canceling of the first two weeks of the regular season. Billy Hunter responds with six-gun language and then, a ray of hope - federal mediator George Cohen enters the fray. CUT TO one week ago - after three days of Cohen's shuttle diplomacy, Paul Allen shows up and lays down the law - 50/50, take it or leave it!  Everybody gets pissed off, the mediator heads back to Washington and I write another post about changing seasons, injustice and my dog.

Just when all seems lost, the league announces that it is abandoning all preconditions - everything’s on the table, negotiations are on! There’s a flurry of phone calls and media leaks, 82 games are still happening. Scouts are being called back from who-knows-where, agents are being "quietly" approached about looming free-agency and arena owners are being begged to keep their schedules open. Happy days are here again! Right?

Thursday night, Stern & Silver enter the room. The commissioner is oozing sincerity, he’s making jokes and looking ever-so-relieved, he’s talking about a new sense of hope and even trust. After two days of fruitful discussions of system issues, the league and owners are on the verge of closing things out - Friday’s the day to discuss basketball related income once again and Stern smiles expansively, he’s ready to offer "economic movement".  A nation turns its lonely eyes to you, dude.

Twenty-four hours later, another Friday presser. This time however, David Stern has his sad face on. He understands the pain of the people, understands just how much this will cost communities and businesses. Unfortunately, those stubborn little players just went and walked out on him! And then comes the punch-line, as it always does. The league withdrew their 50/50 offer, retreated to 47%, and then came back to 50/50 again! See, that’s economic movement! And the other shoe drops as it always does - no more 82 game schedule, no more jobs, and future offers from the league won’t be nearly so generous.

Last night, there was much to-do about Micky Arison making a few innocuous tweets, hinting that perhaps, owners aren’t all on the same page. Yeah, we all know about the doves and the hawks. The most successful owners in the league are supposedly being hijacked by the runts of the litter, led by Paul Allen, the 14 billion-dollar man whose poor basketball decisions have doomed a once-proud team. And this is what we’ve been led to believe for months now, that the top owners are helpless and will lay down and let their teams be divested of any future competitive edge. Bullshit. They are all playing you.

There’s a reason for the ‘occupy’ movement. Whether you agree with it or not, citizens have gone into the streets, protesting against what they see as economic injustice and inequality. I know, I know, it’s only basketball we’re talking about here. Still,  facts is facts - there are banks, mortgage companies, manufacturers and retailers across the land that no longer exist - Fortune 500 companies, stripped out by their own chief executives.  Some wind up with golden parachutes and some wind up in jail. My dad used to call people like this, ‘bad actors’.

The NBA isn’t looking for competitive balance on the court. These are owners who exist in the top one-percent of our nation’s wealth and they want more of your money. Because that’s where it really comes from - the consumer. And they will destroy the union, the surrounding businesses and the economic health of their own franchises, all on a gamble, to somehow put an extra dollar in their pockets. This is a group of bad actors, their so-called divisions are window dressing and they mean you harm.

I have no more trust, hope or faith. Like money budgeted for bills, it’s all been spent. And personally, I’m of the belief that players should indulge in a little economic movement of their own. Go back to fifty-seven percent. It’s territory that has already, legitimately, been held. This won’t get them a deal but they’re not going to get one anyway, so fuck it. Send a signal. It won't happen of course - the players will finally agree to 50/50 and you know what the owners will then say? Of course you do.

I'd close with some poignant story about the dog but he just woke up, started barking ferociously at ghosts and went back to sleep again. Seems like a sensible plan to me.